what's in this email:

What could have happened, did not happen
and I could not feel more - close call.
Learn your lessons.

Friday June 12, 2026
23 days to my birthday

back from the trip

Greetings Thinkers,

Back from the trip, slept in because I slept pretty bad on the trip, then had a "crisis" in the Morning Pages time today, and a slow morning before that which included catching up with Joe who happened to be home before going into work this afternoon.

So here I am, approaching noon, writing the MORNING Daily Email.

I knew what I would write to you about before I got here.

And that it would be about the CRISIS without quotes, of yesterday.

I nearly killed Duck

and it could have been worse.

I have been chewing on the headline the way I "chew on" ways to say things because I look for the most accurate ways to possibly say things, especially serious and significant things.

What REALLY happened? What words most closely articulate that?

I really did nearly kill Duck.

And now I'm wondering about the ways you might interpret that. Iterations of interpretation. How might you read that? Like the retainer story that was about a paid client and not teeth alignment, and how many of those have there been.

To say "I nearly killed him" is an expression. Like "I wanted to kill him" because he did something I did not like. But this is not that. This is a LITERAL USE of the words, not the expressive use of the words. I really nearly killed him. The close call kind.

And now I see how children and animals die in cars in the heat. How the owners of those vehicles, animals, and children may NOT always be total oblivious idiots and terrible humans. Unless I am a total idiot and terrible human, because I almost did it.

recall the sign, story, and time:

All this shop dog work, take your kid to work and everywhere with you stuff I have been trying to do and figure out all the ways to do it. Leaving him in the car with the AC on has been part of that. My anxiety for someone to call the cops because I left my dog in the car is high. Note that my anxiety to kill by dog for leaving him in the car, was not the anxiety.

Now it is. That has changed.

We were heading out of town and I was doing my usual "shop the area you're in". I found a yard sale listed on FB marketplace and we were headed there when I took a sharp and abrupt left into a parking lot for a sign that read "FLEA MARKET". There was stuff sitting outside and it looked like my kind of gold mine.

I parked and started to get us set up. I turned the AC on blast, higher than it would ever be with me in the car, and I rolled the windows all the way up, to keep the cool in. I gave Duck the usual pep talk - "Be good. Do quiet. No quack. Got it Budd-oh? Love you, be back shortly." with smooch smooch. I put the sign on the dash - "he's good, AC is on".

And then I left the car to go shop. I noted that I couldn't lock it yet again, along with another note to self to look that up. I have to be able to leave it running and lock it but so far I have not figured that out. Seems like such a dumb thing to not be able to do. I made the note in my head again and went into the store.

A little while later my friend was going to leave to go to an ATM for me. 10% off for paying cash, and I never have cash, nor do I have a debit card to go to an ATM. So she was going to get cash for me.

On her getting back, parking next to Fancy, I checked in on Duck. "He good, did you see him?" She said yes, and I moved on.

I had been peeking out to the car and on not seeing him quacking incessantly, which has been a problem we have been working on, I thought - he's doing good and must have laid down which he had started to do. A thing that had felt like progress in our work on this, so I thought - don't go over to the car and get him riled up.

Maybe a total of one hour later, we get back to the car, finally loading up the haul from the gold mine I was right about. I open the back hatch and see that Duck has done what he usually does which is that he has left the front seat and is in the back. I notice immediately that he does not look okay. He is panting heavily, eyes drenched in an unusual way. Why does he look so hot and uncomfortable? Something isn't right.

That's when I notice Fancy is OFF.

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. How long has fancy been off?!

My heart drops and I go into CRISIS MODE. My friend is by my side in it too.

Get him water, get him out of the car and into shade. She has the good sense that I haven't gotten to yet in my state of panic, to start getting him wet with the water too.

My fancy car had fancily automatically shut off and nearly killed my dog.

Was it the car's fault or my fault?

It's always ultimately your fault.

My heart is in my throat. Duck seems like he's going to be okay but he's not okay enough yet that I'm not running worst case scenarios through my head still and wondering where the closest emergency vet might be and I am going to trust a place to take him.

He's drinking which is a good sign. He's panting which is also a good sign. But the panting is really heavy and he doesn't seem to have his breath. He is not okay. Is he going to have a heart attack? Is he going into shock?

I chatgpt some stuff and decided to take him to a stream I had seen the day before. I wanted to get him INTO WATER asap. One way to cool a body down.

Once at the stream, he did lay in it. He's not a water dog, he doesn't lay in water, so I knew this was helping, this is what he needed. My call was good.

By this time, his breathing is slowing down in a good way, and I was feeling he was going to be ok. I was close enough to feeling I might be "out of the woods" on this to start going into the psychological emotional part. Talking out the what ifs and starting the blame.

I could have killed him. I nearly killed him. I almost killed him.

What if we had been longer?

And living out the details.

I had the windows rolled all the way up bc I thought it would keep the AC in.

I literally did the exact thing they tell you not to do, they warn you not to do, they tell you how fast a child or animal can die in those conditions. Never leave the windows up.. but what about when the AC is on?!

now I know, now I know. now I know.

Now I know how it can happen and it's not just because you're a fucking UNTHINKING idiot.

I should have checked. I should have checked myself. I should have checked = idiot = well intentioned, thoughT she did enough but still - idiot.

I'm saying that for punch. I don't have to be an idiot just because I made a mistake and I don't really think I'm an idiot, while I also do.

idiot:

On getting home yesterday, I went straight to my spaces to tend the plants, and then home. I was tired. Duck seemed tired too. I suspected the he was the kind of tired you feel after "something happens" . He was definitely physically taxed and I imagine emotionally too. I was definitely emotionally taxed.

So we proceeded to have a casual time at home, in the hot, because we haven't figured out the AC situation for our house yet and I thought maybe that made it ironic for what happened. AC issue in the car, come home to a lack of adequate AC in the home = another issue of the condition of the air... but at least this one not so hot to kill anyone.

I took a shower to wash the fabric softener / air fresher off my lip and my body. I put all the textiles I took into that house into the laundry and am hoping a regular wash here will get the drench of that smell out. I even washed my hair; it was in my hair.

Once rid of the cloud of that stuff, I spent a lot of time going to Duck. Continuing to tell him I was sorry, loving him extra because I had a close call of almost losing him and ON MY HANDS, at my hands.

"What if I had come back ot the car and he was dead?" I could not and still can not stop running that through my head.

we're okay

but do you get it?

🔺

KG

What am I doing with the rest of my 41st year?
23 days to my birth day.

​All the emails in a list ​

standouts / other thoughts

​
word of the day

fault: responsibility, a fracture in the earth where movement occurs

quote(s) to consider

Sometimes the thing that didn't happen changes us as much as the thing that did.

Energy to you.

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Things you could know about me:

order: newest adds at the top, older things at the bottom

vague. I don't like vague. don't be vague with me, I won't be vague with you. at least not on purpose.

defines WEIGHT as: the quality of the quantity of matter you are carrying

I like to antagonize common sayings and typical perspectives

Everything is a choice and authenticity is supreme.

Reflecting on my life whether it's looking back at the last month or doing a "this time last year" thing, shorter or longer time frames, doing this at all is a reflection of who I am. That I care to consider who I am, who I have been, what I have done, so that I may use all of that to inform what I do and who I am in the present and the future. That I reflect is a reflection of who I am.

running with turtles

I know, I'm a horror to say anything to some times..

when all my identities are umbrellas

I love a good double negative!

Plan in quotes because I'm so averse to "plans" and "goals".

I chunk out my days, to the minute, in Gcal.

I love to putter so if it becomes "I puttered my life away" so be it.

I'm not a cherry picker, of anything. I like to use things that exist rather than start from new or scratch.

I am an ostrich about politics, news, current events, pop culture and media.

I dislike clichés and most positive quotes, under thought things meant well, commonly said quotes and phrases.

Don't tell me what to do, don't ask me "how how are you?" or say "I'm sorry for your loss" unless you want to annoy me or you really, really mean it. And know it can be hard to tell which it is, and I'm wrong not infrequently.

30 Day Challenges are my thing. I have a tendency to make things every day things. This is where 30 Day Challenges come from!

Like yourself. Know yourself. Express that self.
Think about things. Don't feel like you have to dance in the rain to have a good life.
Don't have a plan. Stand for what matters. Read when you want to. Don't smile when people tell you to.
Don't have goal. Tend plants. Leave marks. Do what you say. Change YOUR world. And your mind!
Be a friend and a daughter and a partner and a sister and a dog mom.
In a world full of "accept who you are" messages, don't forget to be a "work on that" kind of person.
Don't put kindness above truth. Try new things. Be honest. Live by ideals. Have some whimsy.
What you do for money matters; strive to like what you do for money. (job)
If you have a hobby you need a life.
Use what attracts you and let what you care about matter!

Peepers are my favorite sound.

Triangles are my favorite shape.

54 is my number.

I never need to talk but thank you for offering to listen.

If you say I'm overthinking it, I'll probably say you are underthinkig it.

why I do what I do: I want to "make you" THINK. I don't mind if your experience and perception of me "makes you" be more mindful, use your brain more, "think too much" or consider something more carefully, or differently, or moves you to be (more) thoughtful or intentional or authentic.

I am a hugger and I mean my hugs.

I don't like to have scheduled things. The days where I have something scheduled are a certain category of feeling. I'm not very fond of pre sign ups, committing to things in advance externally. My favorite days are the ones I call "blank slate days". Nothing scheduled, nothing formally EXTERNALLY committed (I am full of internal commitment and ideas all the time, so no day is truly uncommitted).

use the moons

I love rules and I am a ruler follower.

I like a cup to fill.

So which is it Kym. Do you like wide open clean slate no commitment things?
Or you "need" want and thrive in containers, defined spaces, rules and limits?

Geez what a walking contradiction. A biggest when to which Witch!?

SOC life - what you allow in, turns into what you spend your time on. Can you see it?

Tomb raider hot is my favorite kind of girl hot, my favorite hot to be.

Resources

A link list for quick and easy clicking.

• Exhibit: the: "how do you decide what you do and don't express" doozy
• ​Kymology,com
• ​Substack​
• ​Kymology Youtube​
• what does it mean when Kym sends you a triangle (put a LINK here KG!)

Thank you for being here. Energy to you. 🔺
​
Ciao for now!

KG

Snail Mail I "love" snail mail. If want to send me snail mail or a prezzy "just because", you can always reach me here: PO Box 549 Harpers Ferry, WV 25425.

If you're subscribed to me on Substack too and get stuff twice or feel unclear about what's coming from where, me too! Thanks for sticking around! I'm still figuring it out.

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