what's in this email:

"no one likes to be told what to do"

sometimes all we want is to be told what to do

Greetings Thinkers,

Well I think I wrote about this before and once again I go to look for it and don't find it. That list of emails to date is nice, but unless I put the thing I'm looking for IN the EMAIL SUBJECT, it doesn't help me .... I need a better system.

Today is one of those - what would I write about or be thinking about IF I HADN'T SEEN X? And a reminder to be "careful" about what you let yourself see?

Today X is a reply to my Wake up in Love story this morning.

He said: "don't be mad"
I said: "don't tell me what to do"

This is a kind of thing I used to belabor a great deal about.

I'd feel "triggered" by a reply like this and then I'd go on to think about how I wanted to respond and I could get pretty deep in "overthinking" about it. Overthinking by other people's terms, not mine.

Why say anything? Why not say something?
If you do say something, what do you want to say?
Is what you WANT to say, the best thing to say? Will what you REALLY THINK offend someone? If so, then IS IT WORTH IT?

I simplified what I felt down to -
DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. That's ultimately what I thought I felt.

No one wants to be told what to do, unless you want to be told exactly what to do!

You can't really say "don't tell me what to do" to someone who doesn't think they are telling you what to do.

I get this with my Mom sometimes. She'll tell me to go home and relax, or take a break, or some other loving well meaning thing and I will feel not heard, not understood, and told what to do in the bad way. "Don't tell me what to do, Mom"

Telling someone "don't tell me what to do" when they don't think they are telling you what to do, is usually grounds for some level of conflict or argument.

And then it's - is that really worth your time? This direction of thinking is a kind can lead to me sometimes understanding why people block people and why people ignore people. It takes a lot of time and energy to be in exchanges with people. That's when "is it worth it" is really important.

So this particular day, after all these years of a lot of belaboring and caring a lot, my "belabor" and care feels different and my reply came quick. I just said it.

I just said what I thought. And now I'm writing this before looking at any reply.

This guy doesn't know me well. It's probably going to offend him or at least startle him. Maybe I shouldn't have said it for those reasons alone. I'm not saying there's nothing to reading intentions over what's actually said. He's probably not the "kind of person" who thinks like this (whatever that really means) and I think I know that he meant well.

But should well meaning people never be told when you don't like it? Is there no value in a little upset (an argument) or uncomfotabity? For him and for me. Maybe after enough of these, I'll just stop saying anything, and then what will happen? More peace in the world or at least mine? Or is the nature of life, self abandonment? Is not saying what you think , self abandonment?

don't tell me to smile either

Earlier on in the Wake up in Love era a common response would be "SMILE". People would tell me to smile. Oh my god this would infuriate me. And it was always men. A woman never replied and told me to smile and I don't know what that is about but it's a fact from my experience. It was always men, guys, males.

I would post this image of my face at wake up with the caption "Wake up in Love" and I'd have this whole intent behind it that I couldn't possibly convey in the 30 second clip of a story. And it was a regular thing for people, males to tell me to smile.

Later than this was occurring in my life, I started to see this as a whole thing, like a thing on the internet. "Memes" on the internet about men telling women to smile and women wanting to behead them for it.

Then there's this quality of we should't tell people what to feel. That's a trending therapy / emotional health thing isn't it? To not invalidate people's feelings. And that we do so casually and underknowingly all the time, like when we say well meaning very NOT "consoling" things like:

"don't worry about it"

"be happy"

"calm down"

"smile"

"don't cry"

"be grateful"

What else can you put on this list?

Imagine yourself upset and anyone saying any of these things to you, does it "make you" feel better" or do you feel not understood? In a fifth with your spouse and they tell you to calm down? Isn't that one that usually takes you higher?

Sure the opposite can always happen. That's the when to which of it!

So this morning some well meaning guy said "don't be mad" and I said "don't tell me what to do" and I wanted to write this to you before I had any added experience of what his reply would "do to me".

what do you think?

and for the other side, I'd really like to be told (exactly) what to do to build my ideal landscaped space at my space at Young Lucketts. Insert AI generated dream pic from the other day. How exactly does one move earth and prepare it to lay brick and stone and other fun things? In this case, I would like to be told what to do! ha!

A few pics from all the space work I did yesterday in case you're wondering how the spaces are going. And how the shop Duck thing is going as well.

Energy to you.

🔺

KG

standouts / other thoughts

I thought it should be thought about

what you get for free, you treat cheap

currently (NOT) reading:

Books:

• Kitchen Things
• Let Them
• The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
• Plato The Last Days of Socrates
• Forgotten Home Apothecary

word of the day

boutade: a witty remark or playful comment

use it: Send me your boutades!

quote to consider

I think the quote us actually

"the nature of LOVE is self abandonment"

but today I heard

the nature of LIKFE is self abandonment.

perhaps they are one in the same?

Energy to you.

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Below here is an area of reference. Explanations of things commonly referred to in the emails.

Index: references, keys, and definitions

What does any of this have to do with you?
You tell you.

SOC = Stream Of Consciousness

When to Which / When is it Which: a Kymology philosophy that every single thing has its equal and opposite true and good side. Every single thing is literal here.

Exhibit. When I say the word Exhibit it's my way of saying a post or a share. I exhibit my life by posts and publishings on social media and blog spaces. These are my Exhibits.
My life is my work, my work is my life. I Exhibit my work.
like to exhibit art in a gallery. Show, put on a wall for experience, interoperation, comment, and ultimately USE.

A Year of Inspiring, The Kymology Daily - what it is: daily emails about whatever I'm thinking about and writing out. Not quietly. Not maybe. Not sometimes. Not irregularly. Not in silence until it's done. Daily. A Year of Inspiration, the Kymology Daily Email is for and about getting my stuff written out and down. Catalogged and Exhibited. And practicing. Practicing regular exhibiting, and writing, writing, writing.

"It's been awhile since I've been called inspiring." Then be inspiring again.

Don't break commitments you make to yourself.

You never say "you're human" to a huge success.

Coordinating to get the thing done, is not not doing the thing.

How you arrange your details matters.

A list of words to remember and use "more":

• polymath
• sundries
• short shrift
• gimassive
• apricity
• remonstrate- to argue against something to change it, to present and urge reasons in opposition, expostulate

Everyone's nothing is different.
Everyone's everything is different too.

is it worth it, is it worth it, is it worth it - saying this to everything!

YES YOU CAN SHARE THIS​
Sometimes I get asked ~ "would you mind if I sent this to a friend. I think they should read this." My answer to this is ALWAYS YES. My perspective of my Work is that it is PUBLIC. Sure it might seem like I share personal stuff here sometimes and you're right, I do. And I Exhibit for the REASON OF potential. What it could do for someone, that someone could USE IT. So if you know a someone like that, please always feel free to share, pass it along, copy and paste it over whatever you think I best for what you want to do. Sure I'd prefer you didn't copy my words as your own or monetize this in a way I haven't figured out for myself, but beyond that, this is for the using however you see fit.

Things you could know about me:

I'm not a cherry picker of anything. I like to use things that exist rather than start from new or scratch. I am typically an ostrich about politics, news, current events, pop culture and media. I dislike under thought things like cliches and commonly said quotes and phrases. Don't tell me what to do, or say "how how are you?" or "I'm sorry for your loss" unless you want to annoy me or you really, really mean it. And know it can be hard to tell which it is, and I'm wrong not infrequently.

I have a tendency to make things every day things. This is where 30 Day Challenges come from!
​Challenges as a framework are what my body, mind, and soul gravitate toward. (That's the everydayness thing.)

Like yourself. Know yourself. Express that self.
Think about things. Don't feel like you have to dance in the rain to have a good life.
Don't have a plan. Stand for what matters. Read when you want to. Don't smile when people tell you to.
Don't have goal. Tend plants. Leave marks. Do what you say. Change YOUR world. And your mind!
Be a friend and a daughter and a partner and a sister and a dog mom.
In a world full of "accept who you are" messages, don't forget to be a "work on that" kind of person. Don't put kindness above truth. Try new things. Be honest. Live by ideals. Have some whimsy. What you do for money matters; strive to like what you do for money. (job) If you have a hobby you need a life. Use what attracts you and make what you want, matter!

Peepers are my favorite sound.

Triangle is my favorite shape.

54 is my number.

I never need to talk.

If you say I'm overthinking it, I'll probably say you are underthinkig it.

why I do what I do:

to "make you" THINK. I don't mind if your experience and perception of me "makes you" be more mindful, use your brain more, "think too much" or consider something more carefully, or differently, or moves you to be (more) thoughtful or intentional or authentic. All of these things are reasons why I do what I do and why I am the way I am. I consider these things good things, so if I'm the catalyst for anything like this, so far I think that's a good thing.

I mean my hugs

​
​

SOC life - what you allow in, turns into what you spend your time on. Can you see it?

Resources

A link list for quick and easy clicking.

• Exhibit: the: "how do you decide what you do and don't express" doozy
• ​Kymology Website
• ​Substack​
• ​Kymology on Youtube​

If you want to let me know your thoughts to my thoughts, when you reply to this email, it comes directly to my inbox.
And I'll tell you a secret fact: I respond. Really, and every time.

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Thank you for being here.

Energy to you. 🔺
​
Ciao for now!

KG

Snail Mail I "love" snail mail. If want to send me snail mail or a prezzy "just because", you can always reach me here: PO Box 549 Harpers Ferry, WV 25425.

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